This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
