I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
