Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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