know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
