Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You made out with two different species that night
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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