If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
