Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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