Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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