If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have aggressive nipples.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
