You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
