More tranny stories later!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
