Are we in a gay sports bar?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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