so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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