Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
