I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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