My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
