Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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