So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
