Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
