im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
