And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize