if you like me you must not know who I am
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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