you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
