I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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