I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
