so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
