I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
