her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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