I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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