She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
