hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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