dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
