What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize