I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
