WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
