Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
