I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
