today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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