Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
me + whiskey = a bad person
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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