Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
