It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
