Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
