when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
