My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
