First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
