ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize