I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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