woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Congratulations! We have a period
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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