I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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