Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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