Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
