some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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