im drinking this country out of the recession.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
