Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
