Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
