I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
