I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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