it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
