Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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