Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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