How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
