margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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