Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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