Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
