I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
