You work out of a Hotel?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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