Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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